Creation Or Chaos

If there is anything we can learn as human beings, individually, collectively and historically, is that in awakening there is chaos. As we look out on the world with sorrowful eyes, we can see the build-up of a collective awakening, presenting itself as anger, fear and resentment; all being projected towards one another.

But in times like these, the true healing lives inside of us all individually.

Awakening is a time to reveal the depth of our death creating fear; the internal struggle of our weary minds, and the secret joys of our life manifesting hearts. If we do not, we face monotony and cyclical trauma. Being honest about our inner world is the key to changing the outer world.

To close your eyes and deny change inflicts dis-ease, discomfort and a rampant build up of stagnation. I should know, I did it for several years living in a career that I thought would make me happy and worthy.

More than 15 years ago, as my body got rigid and sick following the guidance of my over-intellectualized mind, I saw that no matter how difficult, I had to choose my true self; instead of a path littered with ideas of what I thought I should be. My wounds of adaptation and rebellion kept me trapped in a cycle of extremes. I had to own it all, because it was owning me.

To own your tragedies as victor instead of the victim; letting go of nightmares dressed with generational curses is not the easy path. But neither is living a lie and wearing the mask of a distorted, ideal self.

To stand in the mirror and look into the eyes of your inner child, welcoming the inner knowing that was once considered unworthy of being heard or seen, is power. Even if there is bewilderment in your heart from years of struggle, although hidden, the true self is still there. It calls to you in the dullness you may feel in your heart or the gentle nudges towards what makes you smile. You may not know what the healing journey will bring, but you know that if you push it down….you have no place to go but back to a life that was not of your own creation. But if you stand in the wilderness of change knowing that you are both the creation and creatrix, you will let go of the fear based, distorted peer pressure of a wounded collective, family or relationship. The persecuting thoughts of that collective rise up in your mind like they are your own. But they were born of unconscious agreements. Not even the collective knows from whence they came.

When you stand with your heart open to your authentic yearning, you will understand that those ideas, projections and requirements were all made up. And when you say yes to yourself, you will know that the boundaries you were told led to death, if crossed, were an illusion born of fear that was not your own. So take the time to engage with the beauty that you are. Sit quietly in non-judgmental presence, letting go of other peoples illusions. Release the outer noise and the spirit of life within you will speak clearly and reveal your path. Do it over and over with all the love you can muster. Do not give up on the love that is within you. But also, understand that the divinity within does not speak in fear and flight, but in peaceful power and love without condition. Practice and you will know the difference. And so it is.

In Lak' ech Aka K'in (You are another me) Love, DeeDee 

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