Turning 50, Autumn and the Wisdom of the Heart-Womb

It is my favorite time of year! Autumn! And I am definitely an autumn!! (If you know you know) Not to mention my birthday lands right in the middle of the season. Words cannot express the gratitude I feel being on this earth experiencing my 50th year. I often use this time of year to reflect and retreat deeply into my heart. This year, however, within the dark, heart-womb of autumn and winter, I feel the wisdom in the vulnerability of nakedness.

For me, when the tree consciously plucks off it's leaves from it's branches, there is an opportunity to reflect the trees intelligence and dive into the space between realization and rebirth. That space is represented by the nakedness of the tree after all it's leaves become fertilizer for the soil at it's roots. This feels like the vulnerability felt when we let old things fall away and a part of us starts to die under the pressure of self-realization. But if we allow it, what we allow to fall away can become wisdom for the next season of our lives.

Realization unearths all of the fear, shame and guilt that was hidden within the false identities that stagnated our wisdom. Once we allow these unneeded definitions to fall away, our heartbreak can be transformed into wisdom. The realization, that seemingly tore our world apart, must be taken to the dark womb of the heart. This formless, loving creative space, that first feels like confusion after a bout with unworthiness, can be a nurturing haven of awakening.

The heart space pulses a resonant vibration that can only be understood through vulnerability. And if we listen and allow ourselves to feel and release what is falling away, it will reveal the truth and the guidance of our souls. In the heart, we are transformed in the silence; to experience the living resurrection of spring within our own being. We see it in the trees, the grass and the flowers. And I believe that, through these beings, we are given a message of hope. WE can be born again through the wisdom of letting go, if we allow ourselves to be naked and broken open by the love of our own hearts.

So for me, this is the time to gather all of the emotional understanding I have harvested in the past year to be transformed into wisdom. Unless, I would rather starve in the midst of my minds much needed winter and ignore the unconditional, abundant love of my heart-womb.

I will choose love.

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DeeDee 

in lak'ech ala k'in (You Are Another Me)